Memories

“You shall remember all the ways which the Lord your God has led you.” Deuteronomy 8:2

We’ve had a huge storm the last few days. Very strong winds, lots of rain, and more cold weather. There’s been lots of flooding, trees blown over, roads closed, mudslides—and here we are waiting for spring! I’ve had to concentrate on thanking the Lord that I’m safe. I have much to be grateful for in the midst of the powerful storm. I did have to go out in the awful weather once after the “dear baboons” tipped over my recycle bin and papers were blowing everywhere. I bundled up and cleaned up their mess. I must confess that I didn’t have kind thoughts right then.

I’ve had something interesting happen in recent weeks. At random times, I’ve had so many memories floating through my mind. They all center around Floyd. I’ve realized that there are two categories of memories. Difficult, painful ones of events during his illness. There were many dramatic events over the five-plus years of his time in the hospital. To this day, there are many things I still don’t understand, but I still feel the pain of them. When these memories come, I take them to the Lord and ask Him to carry the weight of them.

The other category is lovely, warm memories. I’ve had lots of them pop up, too. Memories of family, friends, ministry that are precious and special. I can almost relive the pleasantness of the things that happened through the memory. They bring joy to my heart. When these memories come, I thank the Lord for His goodness to us over many years. He has been so faithful and good to us!

I’m sure these memories coming to me at unexpected times are still part of the grieving process for my heart and mind. I’m discovering that grief doesn’t go away. I don’t know if it ever will. But it changes, it evolves, and it finds a special place to be tucked in my heart. The razor-sharp pain of disappointment and loss is gone. It’s now just tender. It’s all part of the healing process.

I’ve found both kinds of memories, even the hard ones, to be a gift. I’ve seen them as part of the process of grieving, healing, and moving forward. I think the Lord has known when it would be helpful for me to rekindle all the memories. He knows me so well!

God remembers, too: “He knows our frame; God remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14).

There are 352 times in the Bible that tell us to remember. If you count all the variants of the word, then there are 550 times mentioned. We definitely need to keep in mind the things that have happened, to be mindful of them.

Remembering how God has been with us in the ups and downs of life moves us towards Him rather than being fearful of what is to come. I am grateful for all the memories that have been coming back to me—the good ones and the hard ones. God was with me in both the good and the hard. He is the one constant in all my memories. I’m so grateful for His presence in my life!

Father, we trust You with our memories of all You have done in our lives. Help us to process the hard ones; may they never strip us of the memories of the good ones. Amen.