Husbands and Wives

 “Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if…” 1 Peter 3:1

Peter is talking to us women about being submissive to our own husbands. That is not always a comfortable place to be. Do I even know what that looks like?

This is an age when women are encouraged to take charge, be independent, told we can have it all, and we must stand up for ourselves. We have rights. We deserve it—whatever it may be. It comes across as though men were our enemies somehow. It comes across as though men are the bullies and oppressors of all womankind.

God’s word of wisdom and truth presents a very different scenario. This gracious vision is one in which a woman honors and trusts her husband. She trusts this man she fell in love with to the point that she willingly submits to his leadership. She is under submission first to God and then to her own husband. This is the order of command and it is not grievous.

How does a woman arrive at that state of mind, that condition of the heart? It is because she knows deep within her being that she is well loved by God and well loved by her husband. Thus, she takes her rightful position in the ordering of life, family, and marriage. This makes for a threefold cord not easily broken.

She is not lesser. She is not weak, helpless, or incompetent. She is not oppressed or enslaved. On the contrary, she is an actively engaged, respected, and contributing member of a healthy and effective bond that gets life done. It works beautifully.

I can hear some saying, “Oh, but you don’t know my husband” or “I don’t feel loved like that.” So your man is not perfect. Your God is and He is well able to love, teach, correct, and encourage your husband. Be submissive to your husband “even if.”

As I looked at my own relationship to my husband, I made a few notes to myself. Perhaps you may find them helpful as well. I want to be intentional about respecting and honoring my man. No cheap shots. Complain less or not at all. Criticize less or not at all. Does that comment really need to be said out loud? Yield to his foibles, tastes, desires. He deserves that consideration for, after all, he has to live with me. Do I really have to have it my way all the time? Look to do those things that please him. He is God’s man. Let him lead.

Father, I thank You for the man You have given to be my husband. I am a blessed wife. Thank You for the holy work You have done in each of us through this marriage. Because of Your great love we have found a deep and abiding love for one another. You have the most beautiful ideas! Glory to You in all things, Amen.