Build a Fortress

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts… Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” Colossians 3:12-16a

My phone rang early this morning. It was someone I used to be close to, calling to tell me her marriage was dissolving. She was sobbing so hard, I could only catch a smattering of her words. When we finally said goodbye, my hands were trembling and my heart was broken for this young couple.

Both the husband and wife are believers, although the husband is very new to the faith; I’ve known the wife a long time, and there is abundant evidence that she is emotionally unstable.

I went to prayer for them, feeling despair because they had allowed their hearts to reside in a place of hate, blame, regret, accusation, and anger. But as I got “prayed out” for their marriage, and began to praise God for His goodness, love and power, and His plan for this couple, their home and children, it became clear to me that it wasn’t their issues that would destroy their marriage, but their response to them.

I ached for their reconciliation, realizing that it was only going to come one way: living God’s way through trial. I knew Satan was throwing his fiery darts at them, and they had put up no defense. They were living as they had always lived—fighting each other as if that was the real battle—instead of using the weapons God has given.

Here is my prayer for them: that they would begin to build a wall against those fiery darts, shutting Satan out of their marriage relationship. The wall must be built on the foundation of Jesus Christ being their Master. The first brick laid must be forgiveness, for the past, present, and future. Then a brick of grace must be laid beside the brick of forgiveness, because they are and always will be human, subject to the flesh and temptation, and knowing that mistakes will be made. Often.

Bricks of mercy, understanding, patience, hope, encouragement, discernment, willingness, caring, and kindness must all be laid each time there is an opportunity to do so, along with continuing to lay bricks of forgiveness and grace. All the bricks will have to be laid over and over throughout their lifetime. The wall will grow stronger and taller as the years go by, as they become aware of Satan’s attacks and as their decision strengthens to build the marriage fortress against the attacks.

Oh, no, young couple, don’t lay down now. Don’t take this assault against what God has ordained. God in us is bigger and stronger. He has given us His Word that outlines exactly what must be done in order to be strong against the enemy, whether we are talking about a marriage or any other aspect of our lives.

Oh God, we offer up this, and every, relationship that is struggling. Teach us to put on love. In Jesus’ mighty Name we cry out. Amen.