Unclean – Part 1

 “…But God has shown me that I should not call any man common or unclean.” Acts 10:28b

I don’t want to write this devotional. I don’t want to bare my ugly heart, to show you my own uncleanness, to confess my failure. But I am repentant, so I am writing it anyway.

Today when we arrived at church, my husband put his Bible down across two chairs to claim our territory, then left to talk to someone in the foyer. I had stopped at the bathroom. When I entered the worship center, my eyes scanned our usual area and I saw a certain person sitting close by our seats—too close for my comfort. Just so you know, I have greeted this person by name several times at church, but PLEASE don’t ask me to sit nearby. I have seen this person around town at various times, doing things that disgust me. He is… unclean.

Right now, admitting this, I disgust myself. But at that moment, all I could think was how to protect my comfort level. I told my husband, still in the foyer, that I didn’t want to sit beside that person. He gave me a look that clearly said, “I can’t believe you just said that.” But I defended myself. “Well, if it was a woman, I’d be ashamed of myself; but it’s a man, and if you want to sit by him, that’s fine with me, I’ll take your seat and you can have mine.”

“Go move our stuff, then, wherever you are comfortable.” To me, that is even worse. That would be making a scene. That would be a slap in the face. That would be making it obvious that I didn’t want to sit by him.

I was prepared to just be uncomfortable throughout the service, but as I got closer I saw that he was one row ahead and three seats down. Some friends of mine were sitting by him, apparently having no problem with him whatsoever.

When the service began, I sang, but I didn’t worship. I prayed, but I didn’t enter into God’s presence.

It wasn’t the man that was unclean, it was me.

These words rumbled around my head, as clearly as if Someone was speaking into my ear: “But God has shown me that I should not call any man common or unclean.” I know that this passage of Scripture is speaking of spiritual uncleanness in the sense of declaring that someone is unworthy of salvation. The lesson there is that all are worthy of salvation and saving grace. God is not, nor should we be, a respecter of persons in this matter.

What I had to confront is that although the man is certainly worthy of salvation, I was judging him unworthy of my company, my friendship, my prayers, my care, even my touch.

“Then Peter opened his mouth and said: ‘In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality’” (Acts 10:34). God does not take sides, show favoritism, exhibit bias, show discrimination, or treat one person better than another.

Writing this devotional is my first step of repentance, my acknowledgement of sin. I see yet again the ways I am un-Christ-like.

Step two of my repentance will be when I actually obey the Lord—when I purposely sit next to this man, offer my hand in friendship, and prove to myself that the fruit of repentance has come to me—when I live out Ephesians 4:1-3, walking worthy of the calling with which I was called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Father, I ask Your forgiveness, for I have sinned against You, and shamed myself before You. Give me the grace and the will to obey You in this, and in all things at all times. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.