“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. Isaiah 41:10

Fear, Worry & Feeling Alone

Worry started in second grade for me when my teacher noticed I became quiet but agitated when I was working on something that I couldn’t understand or do on my own. My stomach would just churn with fear and worry and at times I would finally just throw up. She mentioned this behavior to my parents and so they were quite aware as I grew up that my extremely upset stomach was the barometer for my being in a state of fear or worry over something.

Matthew 7:25-34 is printed in red because Jesus is teaching about worry (as in DO NOT worry), and I have written my name with an exclamation mark next to these verses in my Bible.  “Are you not much more valuable than (the birds He cares for)?” He asks the worriers.

 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well…”

I have read these verses in Matthew over and over to get a handle on my worry at various stages in my life—high school (yikes); moving out and becoming independent; hoping to make enough to support my single self for many years; working at various super stressful jobs; illnesses/deaths in my family; and my “rollercoaster” marriage—which ended in divorce.

I was so devastated by the failed marriage that my stomach upset and stress was at an all-time high. I was put on anti-anxiety meds to be able to sleep, and had to eat “blender” food in order to keep anything down. The fear and worry was in realizing I was out on my own again—alone at 59 years old, looking for a job in a bad economy. Many tears, much prayer, my Bible study group, and Scriptures (said over and over), along with supportive family and Christian friends, kept me from going off the deep end!

One of my key life and comfort verses is Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD our God goes before you; He will never leave you nor forsake you”.  Another is, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10).

The Lord has led me through a lot since then. The road has been hard, with four different jobs and two layoffs, plus painful family issues, dealing with my own discouragement, confusion, grief, pain, and feeling alone after the divorce.  I had to learn and really understand in my heart that I am not alone—God is always for me and with me!

I am “staying the course” of weekly group Bible study, church, the support and prayers of family and friends, and taking long walks alone with God when I pour out my heart to Him in prayer, asking for His arms to be around me and give me His direction, strength and comfort. I am not saying I have mastered my worry and loneliness. But I know in my heart God loves me, and “If God is for us, who can be against us?” No one!

And, as a beloved child of God, I carry on.

Thank You, Lord, for Your precious love that will never fail or wear out! I look to You every day, O Lord, my strength and guide! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.