“If You, LORD, kept a record of sins, LORD, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve You.” Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV)

“LORD, if You kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive? But You offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear You.” Psalm 130:3-4 (NLT)

Weak Flesh

Part 1

 In the middle of the night, I awoke with such a feeling of grief and dismay. I had just had a dream, and in the earliest, darkest hours, I could not hide from the memory. In the dream, I was able to see how a sinful choice I had made had deeply wounded another person. I clearly felt the other person’s point of view, and it was a feeling I would never want to place on another person. The knowledge that I had done such a thing made me feel like I wanted to die.

I realize I spend a lot of time guarding my heart against remembering my past. I never, ever meant to hurt another soul. And yet if I am honest, I can tell you that I made choices that hurt many, many souls. On the private occasions when I do talk about it, I am quick to defend my actions. “I was reacting to something HE did. I never meant for X, Y, and Z to happen; I never WANTED those things to happen. If you had asked me if I was capable of even doing those things, I would have told you NO! NO! and NO!”–because I was a Christian, and I did not believe that certain sins would ever pertain to me.

WRONG.

“If you think you are standing firm, be careful not to fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

The reason I included excuses into my sin story was not merely to make myself look better to the person in whom I was confiding; my reason to make excuses was because I could not handle truly facing what I had done.

(To be continued tomorrow…)

Dear Lord, THANK YOU that You do not keep a record of my sins. I choose to walk in Your forgiveness and freedom this very day. Amen.