“For the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts.” 1 Chronicles 28:9

Journeys Bring Change

I get a bit of a shock every time I look in the mirror! I think, “Who is that?” I’m getting hair again (thankfully), but it’s curly and a different color from what my hair has always been. I don’t really have much in the way of eyebrows or eyelashes—I lost those when I lost my hair. And I’ve lost a lot of weight. It somehow doesn’t seem like “me” when I look in the mirror.

Today when I looked at myself, I had that little shock again—and then I had a thought. Thank goodness God still recognizes me! I don’t look different to Him. The Bible tells us that God looks at the heart, so thankfully my heart hasn’t gone through drastic changes from chemo.

I was thinking about that as I had my quiet time, and I realized that actually my heart has changed. I’ve loved the Lord since I was a little girl, but through this hard unexpected journey, I’ve come to love Him more. His faithfulness, His care, His love, His grace, His holding my hand each step of the way, His carrying me when I’ve been so weak—how can I not love Him more and more?

Someone was recently asking me a lot of questions about this journey, and as I answered, I kept talking about how good God has been. Then, without thinking, I said, “I have nothing to complain about.” It just came out spontaneously, and in that instant I realized how true it is.

Has it been hard? Yes! Do I wish some things were different? Absolutely! But in the midst of all the hard things, God has been more than I could have asked for in meeting me, in meeting my needs. If I look back over my shoulder at the storms I’ve walked through, what I see is Jesus carrying me through them. He has helped me each step of the way!

The journey isn’t over. I don’t know what’s still ahead. I’m still walking through some really difficult things. But I know God will continue to be right by my side. I don’t have to fear what’s ahead. I have anxious moments sometimes, but then I remember how faithful God has been—and He never changes! He’ll help me with whatever is ahead.

As all these thoughts were rushing through my head, I found myself praying—for you! For each of you reading this update—for those of you who have faithfully prayed us through this journey—I found myself praying that you’ll find God’s faithfulness in the midst of whatever you’re walking through. He so beautifully and lovingly redeems the hard times by drawing us closer to His Father’s heart!

“O Lord, You have searched me and known me” (Psalm 139:1).

“But You know me, O Lord; You see me; and You examine my heart’s attitude toward You” (Jeremiah 12:3).

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

When we think of Biblical characters and all they accomplished for the Lord, I think we tend to look at them through “rose colored glasses.” We think of them as rugged/handsome/beautiful/powerful. They can take on mythical proportions in our minds. But, in reality, I think they were ordinary, everyday people like you and me. They had their weaknesses, their failings, but God saw their hearts and their potential. He saw in them who He had created them to be. And He used them for His glory!

Lord, may we bring You glory in some way on this journey. I pray our hearts will continue falling in love with You! You’re so good.